Weblog

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

  • http://lriz.tumblr.com/

    Hello to everyone out there! I just wanted to give a heads up that I will no longer be posting on Xanga! If you like what you've read here on this blog, then check out my Tumblr account! http://lriz.tumblr.com/ Right now, it's still in the works, so you'll have to bear with me as I get it up and running, but it's going to have my writings on it very soon! The newest ones will now be available at http://lriz.tumblr.com/ Along with new writings, it will also get a little more personal. I will be posting pictures from my life, updating as often as I can to tell everyone what's been going on in my life, etc. And of course, I will be posting entries from my personal journal aka writings that I have been posting on this website. So check it out, tell your friends if you like what you see, and follow me if you have a Tumblr or decide to create one for yourself! Love you guys and thanks for all the support here!

    http://lriz.tumblr.com/

Sunday, 02 May 2010

  • Here Comes Goodbye.

    Those three little words are not the easiest to say,
    buut I know that i'll feel them at the end one day.
    Right now you look at me in a way I thought you wouldn't.
    Now that it's over, i know there's a reason why we shouldn't.
    All the fights, accusations, and sleepless nights,
    they made me reach for things at such great heights.
    I feel a heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders,
    but I hope that doesn't make you want to jump off any boulders.
    We both made promises that are never plausible to keeps,
    and I never wanted to, but I know all you do is weep.
    We tried and failed, there was nothing more to do.
    Even though you may think I'm out with God knows who.
    You thought everything you were fighting for was on a one-way street,
    but you never noticed what I would go down there to meet.
    The blame was put on everyone but yourself,
    and now you're lying back, like a doll on a lifeless shelf.
    I could only go so far before there was nothing left to mend.
    Once I saw what we'd been though, my heart I could no longer lend.
    Goodbyes was the only way to figure out for sure
    that I could be much happier when you were here no more.
    Another showed me how to feel, what it's like to have some fun.
    We talked and joked, because of you we cried out in the sun.
    You thought we were more, which is why our story ended.
    I proved you right, after the fact, and our bodied decided, they blended.
    Be happy with this choice, pretend it's all you ever wanted,
    and remove me from your memories, I don't want them to be haunted.
    written 4/2/10

  • Self doubt. It's a bad emotion to possess. I almost feel like it controls us more than we can control the emotion itself. It's like you want something so bad that you're too afraid to do anything because it could mess a possibly great situation. And it's like there's no outlet for you because the one person who needs to know what you have to say is the one that you're too afraid to tell it to. I need to tell you that I'm scared. I need to be honest and say that I want something to happyen here, but I'm just not sure that I can do that. You see, I'm so afraid that I can't even tell you how afraid I am. I'm afraid I'll scare you away. I'm afraid that you won't want me. i'm afraid I'll get hurt. I'm so afraid that I'm afraid I'll get so scared and ruin another good opportunity because I just can't get passed this fear. It's almost as if I need to know what you're thinking and how you feel. I just need to know that I can trust you. I just don't know how much more hurt I'll be willing to go for to find love.

  • Big city skyline. That's what I dream of most nights before I slumber. I dream to live in a place so much bigger than you and I. There's something so exhilerating about massive new places. It's like the whole world's just waitinf for you to discover your every dream. I feel as if the magic in my life won't fully be activated until I'm comfortable in this big place. So much life, the city never sleeps, that's what I need in my life. I need action and passion. There's not place with more passion and drive than the big city. I can see myself being happy in a place like that. I can see myself falling in love and truly finding myself. I'd turn into the exact opposite of everyone else, and that's what will make me so appealing. While everyone else is building up walls and distancing themselves, I'll be polite and respectful to everyone. That's what will set me apart, that's how I'll be successful. Everyone else will be dying their hair brown and deleting color from their wardrobe. I'll be breaking that little mold they tried so hard to perfect. I'll be going blonde, keeping my body natural, and buying clothes as fun as my personality.
    writter 1/24/10

  • The things you do, the things I say. I drive myself crazy wondering what it all means to you. Am I good enough for you? Do I mean anything to you? What do you think of the words I say? Reactions are not your strongest suit. I tell you something completely sincere, hoping it will make you feel better, and I don't even get a reply. Do you understand how crazy that makes me?! It's almost as if guys don't understand a single thing about girls. I just want to see you happy. Hopfeully I'm the one to make you happy, but why is it, in the process of making him happy, it seems to never work? What have I done wrong? Was I too honest with you? Is it someone else that you want? This thing we've got going on is still brand new, it's alright to tell me that it's too much too soon. I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve here. I'm being honest with you. I'm taking a risk, I'm putting myself out there for you. Does all of this go unnoticed? Am I just putting myself out there to look like a fool later? I just really want to know what you're thinking. A step inside your mind might make me feel better about what we've got going here. And while we're at this, what is going on here? Where are the two of us going to go? There are reasons I can't tell you about for why I don't want to do certain things yet. That doesn't mean they have anything to do with you. I'm still pretty new at all this, I don't want to rush into an unsure thing. I can't do that to myself, it just wouldn't be fair...

    written 1/10/10